Two Pints of Lager - Spilt

Warning: This Post Contains Spoilers For Season Seven of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet Of Crisps

"Jumping the Shark" refers to the point where a series is so past its best-by date that it's started to rot.

It comes from Happy Days, where they became so desperate to keep the series fresh and exciting that they had the Fonz jump over a great white shark on water skis, and this has since become iconic of the point of utter desperation.

It probably seemed like a good idea to have season seven of Two Pints begin with Johnny literally jumping the shark off-screen. It was quite funny - ironic, tongue-in-cheek, and with at least one person saying "eeeeeeey".

However, the series actually jumped the shark by killing off Johnny, played by Ralf Little. Off-screen too.

It's understandable that actors want to move on, and have other commitments - but couldn't they have just done one last series, to round everything off? Johnny's death is incredibly sudden, with no build up whatsoever for his trip to Hawaii (to jump the shark, in both senses).

Another thing I hate about season seven is Gaz's love affair with Janet.

It seems that every male in the series has been waiting for Janet to become single, in order to move in on her. Janet now, essentially, seems to be the main girl of the series with Donna and Louise as her backing singers - and that's unfortunate, because I always liked her least.

As far as I'm concerned, season seven of Two Pints is not canon - except for Louse's pregnancy. That's interesting, and another indication that the series is winding down. Friends did the same, having all the characters grow up and move on before leaving them to it. However, Friends managed at least some semblance of natural growth - rather than simply tacking on a highly unlikely happy ending for everyone concerned. It's unbelievable, sappy, crude, and frankly, a complete sell out and betrayal of the shows fans and the characters.

I'm quite hurt.:(

I Want DVDs

I found a leaflet stuck in one of my magazines, which admittedly, isn't usually a newsworthy occurance. They tend to be about tigers, and I would like to adopt one, but it wouldn't fit in my bedroom.

Anyway, this leaflet advertised a new site - iwantdvd.co.uk. The basic idea behind it is very interesting. Their advertising claims;

Unlike other DVD stores, www.iwantdvd.com has been specially designed to make online shopping more fun. Rather than finding yourself surfing through ten million DVDs waiting for a title to catch your eye, you can simply use the website's DVD selector to narrow down the search!

First, you need to put in who the DVD is for, with choices including everybody from yourself to your parents, siblings, children, best mate or other half. Then refine your quest by putting in the recipients age, film preference (comedy, horror, drama, etc) and details about their personality (are they funny? Romantic? Stylish?). The DVD selector will then use this information to rummage through the websites extensive library of content, choosing suitable DVDs to fit your criteria. You can also watch trailers and read information on its choices before you decide to buy them or not - perfect! Why waste time when www.iwantdvd.com can do all the hard work for you?

...well, because they've mistyped their own website address twice would be a good reason.

Ignoring that embarrassing error, the copy does look interesting, but I'll admit to having doubts as to how well it works. Sites like Amazon and LoveFilm, among others, also feature a recommendation feature, but this is based on votes given by their customers, and your history with the company. Anyone who uses Amazon regularly will generally be able to find a good choice or two among its many, many recomendations - and the fact that, at times, it's only batting 1/10 doesn't matter, since that feature isn't Amazon's main selling point (the books are). So far, LoveFilm's recommendations have only served to remind me to watch the next season of a series, but I remain in hope. After all, I've already got 300+ films on my list, so it's not like they've got many to choose from. And again, since that isn't the company's main selling point, it simply serves as a rather nice bonus.

But, iwantDVD is going beyond that. Rather than simply having the feature, they've decided it to make it their main selling point against the many, many other DVD sites out there. And how do they do it?

They could hook into a larger database, like that of IMDB, and use their long history of user ratings to sort films. Or they could categorise the films by themselves - say, have a given film score highly for a gift for a grandchild, and lower for one for a girlfriend (I'm assuming the film is Happy Feet, or Igor, or something). Give it a higher score for the younger age groups, and lower for older groups. Higher for people who are funny and like comedies. Then, when someone inputs the options, find the film which scores highest overall.

The problem with that system is the lack of user feedback. Sure, the system can be tweaked as the site grows, and people actually buy the DVDs, but during its delicate time, while the system is still finding its feet, that's not going to help. Honestly, I'm not holding out a fantastic amount of hope for this site.

So, I decided to test it, with my boyfriend. The objective was simple try to find a film which one of us owns, or at least wants to own, without actually lying about any details.

The first option you need to input is the recipients relationship to you, and there are quite a lot of options to choose from - dad, mum, brother, sister, son, daughter, me, girlfriend, boyfriend, best mate, husband, wife, evil twin, mistress, friend, partner, the ex, grandfather, grandmother, grandkid, cousin, aunt, uncle, mother-in-law, father in law, family pet, neighbour, nanny, teacher, boss, bribe, room mate, imaginary friend, secret santa, charity, arch enemy, and other. I think someone was having a lot of fun with this. I also think it would make more sense to have a separate 'gender' option, so they could cut a few options off this list, but that's just me.

Then age; 0-6, 6-12, 12-15, 15-18, 18-35, 35-55, 55+. These categories are much broader, and have some overlaps. I think that's a bad sign. Maybe whoever wrote the options was having slightly less fun at this point.

I also think that more weight should be given to age, rather than relationship. Or even to any of the later options, the next of which is which genre they prefer - action, classic, comedy, rom-coms, drama, family, horror, musical, romance, seasonal, sci-fi, suspense, or television.

I don't think I need to point out that television isn't a genre, do I? They're also missing indie, among others (I noticed that one, because I had a go at making it show Juno). Fantasy, too.

You can't tell, but I have my sad face on right about now.

The final option is for personality type, and I truly doubt the legitimacy of that option. Firstly, why would a funny person want to watch a comedy (which is what the system is going to find, if you say that)? They're already funny.

The options are also quite limited, when compared to the vast range of humanity; neurotic, observant, spontaneous, misunderstood, funny, romantic, stylish, flirty, strict, popular, stressed out, workaholic, loyal, outrageous, charistmatic, optimistic, charitable, laid back, streetwise, paranoid, troublemaker, hard to please, sympathetic, moody, gossip, player, smart arse, arrogant, or chilled out.

I'm not entirely sure why any of those - particularly stressed out and chilled out, which are temporary states - would effect one's choice in films. I also think that they should allow one to choose three or so of these, since I'm guessing they're using it to establish themes within the chosen genre.

Now, my boyfriend the horror fan, can be quite neurotic, but that doesn't mean he likes The Butterfly Effect (I do, because of the chaos theory, and because I don't like horror films and this isn't one). He didn't think much of Gremlins either, when I focused on him being misunderstood. The set of "six iconic films" was really cheating, but since he only liked one of them, it didn't do them much good (True Romance).

For me, the site suggested Micky Blue Eyes, Miss Congeniality, Dave and Doc Hollywood. I've only seen two of those (the same two I've heard of), and neither was on my list of "DVDs I want for Christmas" (which included Persepolis, Juno, Happy Go Lucky and the second season of Green Wing). I do like Miss Congeniality - it's one of those happy, witty little films that one can watch over and over (well, this one can). However, if I were going to get one of those on DVD (and I should), I'd be going for Legally Blonde or The Devil Wears Prada.

The site then, with a tweak of options, suggested The Batman Legacy for him and The Prestige for me - both of which were met with a resounding 'meh'. And not the positive kind.

I did manage to find one that he owned by claiming he liked sci-fi and was misunderstood - The Matrix Reloaded. Unfortunately, that film also got a 'meh', since he's now sick of it. To be fair though, the site didn't know how long he'd owned it, or even that he did. Action and neurotic came up with The Batman Legacy again, which he's sure that he wouldn't like (I double-checked).

All in all, not a fantastic start. It might work better if one could input a few films that the recepient already owns and likes, to help narrow it down a little. In fairness, I'm not a member of the site, and it may allow you to do that if you are - at least with your own films. There might even be a user-feedback system. This site could be fun for finding films you wouldn't have considered otherwise, but the choices are far too mainstream for that to really be an option.

Anyway, in conclusion, I'd say that if you're going to use this to actually help choose a present, don't use it for someone you're quite close to without double-checking their choices. On that note, my six-year-old arch enemy (who is hard to please and likes musicals) would, apparently, like a box-set of Elvis films. Funny, I thought she might prefer Igor.

Australia

It is curious to note just how little Australia impacts the cinematic world. While I'm aware that Australia has a burgeoning film industry and has produced many good films, these probably will not be widely advertised, and almost certainly won't be competing with the latest Hollywood blockbusters. Most famous Australian actors and actresses - Guy Pearce, Nicole Kidman, Hugh Jackman and the late Heath Ledger, to name a few - will not be using their real accents in their most famous films, except, perhaps, on the commentary. And at the moment, I can only think of one film which is set in Australia.

So, with that kind of history, this film seems to be an Australian light in an all too American world. Australia, directed by Baz Luhrman (New South Wales), starring Hugh Jackman (also New South Wales) and Nicole Kidman (born in Honolulu, but raised in Sydney), and filmed in Queensland, may be Australia's big break into the commercial film market.

I do, however, find it rather amusing that Nicole Kidman is playing an English woman.

I also suspect that, epic as the film is, it may be slightly too heavy in tone for most audiences.

Zack and Miri Make a Porno

I think I know why director Kevin Smith doesn't have a day job. If his character's work ethics are even vaguely similar to his, he's better off doing something creative, far, far away from real people.

Zack and Miri Make a Porno does exactly what it says on the tin - best friends since high school, Zack and Miri decide that, in order to pay off their bills, they should make a porn film. While one character is easy to sympathize with, it's easy to believe that the other one is getting far, far more than he could possibly deserve.

Miri is a beautiful girl, with low confidence and few friends apart from Zack, who continually tells her that she's just as unattractive as she once was in high school (and really, if she did look like that in high school, her classmates were clearly blind). He also steals her handwarmer (that's just mean), and has such an utterly terrible working attitude that's it's hardly surprising that they can't pay their bills. Later in the film (and here's a bit of a spoiler) he runs away completely, abandoning Miri to their debts. What a nice guy. What a great friend.

The chemistry between Miri (Elizabeth Banks) and Zack (Seth Rogen) seems utterly fake. The sexual tension is written in but not felt, and laid on with a trowel. Zack and Miri don't feel like friends or potential lovers, however desperately the script wants you to think that. The film does have some funny moments, and a great scene from Justin Long, but generally speaking, it has the same problems I've seen in other Smith films, and other Rogen films, with very few of the good points. Although, you do get to see Jason Mewes naked (yum). Definitely worth the wait. I was honestly expecting just the gratuitous female nude shots - well done for being non-sexist.

I should probably confess here that, while I don't mind Kevin Smith, I really don't like Seth Rogen, because I think he abuses his position as a writer and/or producer in order to act out his fantasies with beautiful actresses. Despite purposefully making himself less attractive than the people leading male roles traditionally go to, he still always gets the girl. And that would be admirable if he didn't make sure that the 'girl' in question is a stunning up-and-coming actress. It would be good if someone at least acknowledged that these girls are way too good for him, even in the films that he's written - and I don't just mean his own character, in some kind of self-deprecating scene designed to make us think he's obviously really sweet and romantic and has hidden depths. To quote from an article on Alternate Takes (a fantastic film site, go take a look);

Laura Mulvey famously argued that in classical Hollywood cinema, the female serves as the “bearer of meaning, not maker of meaning” - that women are objectified by the implicitly male gaze of the camera, the audience, and the male lead.

Now, that may be true of most movies, but there's no need to be quite so transparent about it, is there Rogen?

Zack and Miri is funny, but forgettable, and supremely irritating in several ways. It's also quite amazing just how Miri's character manages to keep her curls intact with no water or electricity.